Mind the Gap serves as a warning to train passengers to take caution as they travel from train car to platform. It’s also the title of what is apparently a 2004 film of the same name about “Five people that take huge risks in their personal lives in an effort to find happiness.” One of my favorite reviews of the movie calls it “a very small film with a big heart.”
I am about to travel across a huge gap, literally, as I head back from a well-deserved vacation across an ocean and back to a job and a life that I love. I’ve been gone for more than a few months-first surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy for recurrent Ovarian Cancer. Then I had this lovely little family vacation for two weeks in Washington State. I watched the Mariner’s beat the Mets! I ate too much (including questionable ball park food), I didn’t sleep enough, I was moderately careful about touching the shopping carts, but I did not have my guard fully up. Many hugs were disbursed against medical advice as I tried to pack in many family and friend visits. It was a lazy and fun vacation. I got to hug on family members that I haven’t seen for five years, and some I have only missed for a few months. I ate some of the most delicious food I have had ever! My tummy might argue the point a bit, but even that didn’t deter me from getting out there. If I wanted cake, I ate it. If I wanted cookies, I ate those. Hopefully, I didn’t eat any of the recently recalled listeria tainted produce sold throughout Washington State.
All in all, a successful vacation. I also found out there is a rib fairy who delivers ribs to your house, if you’re nice. You probably don’t know her though. The cheesecake fairy exists too, but clearly, she is a different person. The massage fairy was at work too! Busy time of the year for them.
As I travel back, it is time to shift gears back to treatment and back to work. There is definitely a worry about the gap in time between chemo treatments. It settles in the back of my brain reminding me that each day without chemo is another day the cancer could be mobilizing its forces. All I can do is choose to be mindful. I will start back next week with chemo…the following week with school. I need to reintroduce myself to Prilosec and Phenergen, and crank up the water intake. Nurse Jackie will be ready to take my blood and see what damage has been done, if any. As I head back to the love and support on Oahu, I can’t help but think that this gap in medical treatment was enhanced by an improvement in mental health and a reminder to not let my treatment get in the way of life. I can’t thank my family and friends enough. My current chemotherapy should last until mid October (with maintenance chemo afterwards) so a long road ahead.