Mind the Gap serves as a warning to train passengers to take caution as they travel from train car to platform. It’s also the title of what is apparently a 2004 film of the same name about “Five people that take huge risks in their personal lives in an effort to find happiness.” One of my favorite reviews of the movie calls it “a very small film with a big heart.”
I am about to travel across a huge gap, literally, as I head back from a well-deserved vacation across an ocean and back to a job and a life that I love. I’ve been gone for more than a few months-first surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy for recurrent Ovarian Cancer. Then I had this lovely little family vacation for two weeks in Washington State. I watched the Mariner’s beat the Mets! I ate too much (including questionable ball park food), I didn’t sleep enough, I was moderately careful about touching the shopping carts, but I did not have my guard fully up. Many hugs were disbursed against medical advice as I tried to pack in many family and friend visits. It was a lazy and fun vacation. I got to hug on family members that I haven’t seen for five years, and some I have only missed for a few months. I ate some of the most delicious food I have had ever! My tummy might argue the point a bit, but even that didn’t deter me from getting out there. If I wanted cake, I ate it. If I wanted cookies, I ate those. Hopefully, I didn’t eat any of the recently recalled listeria tainted produce sold throughout Washington State.
All in all, a successful vacation. I also found out there is a rib fairy who delivers ribs to your house, if you’re nice. You probably don’t know her though. The cheesecake fairy exists too, but clearly, she is a different person. The massage fairy was at work too! Busy time of the year for them.
As I travel back, it is time to shift gears back to treatment and back to work. There is definitely a worry about the gap in time between chemo treatments. It settles in the back of my brain reminding me that each day without chemo is another day the cancer could be mobilizing its forces. All I can do is choose to be mindful. I will start back next week with chemo…the following week with school. I need to reintroduce myself to Prilosec and Phenergen, and crank up the water intake. Nurse Jackie will be ready to take my blood and see what damage has been done, if any. As I head back to the love and support on Oahu, I can’t help but think that this gap in medical treatment was enhanced by an improvement in mental health and a reminder to not let my treatment get in the way of life. I can’t thank my family and friends enough. My current chemotherapy should last until mid October (with maintenance chemo afterwards) so a long road ahead.
Traveling takes on a whole new meaning for cancer patients. Every sneeze and every cough on the airplane has the potential to spread unwanted infection. To most people, it’s just an annoyance, but when your immune system is compromised there is so much more of concern. I had the opportunity to fly recently in what is essentially the middle of my chemo treatment. I survived the debulking surgery in March, 25 radiations, and 4 chemos already, but would I survive the passenger on flight 898 who touched the seat-back tray with his germ filled hands on the previous flight. How thoroughly do airlines really clean those planes? What about the recirculated air from the 250 passengers all around me?
I traveled with the blessing of my doctor and my chemo nurses. Nurse Cindy said to me, “We do these treatments so that you will be able to enjoy your life.” That is my plan! I brought my bag full of drugs with me (wondering if TSA was going to wonder about a gallon Ziploc filled with prescription meds). I brought 3 bottles of hand sanitizer, three packs of Clorox travel wipes, and two cloth masks ordered from Amazon. (The only masks I had at home prior to this were from Home Depot made with the intention for home improvement projects.) Not only do the masks ward off germs, I’ve noticed most people subconsciously create a healthy personal zone around mask wearing travelers. Although rather hot and uncomfortable, they kept me insulated from all that swirled around me (even if it was only a mental protection). My Trip is still a work in progress, but a welcome break from cancer, treatments, and hospitals. When I return, I will be ready to pick up arms and begin the fight again…as my sister said…RFM…Relentless Forward Motion. I concur.
I wish I could say that I am halfway through chemo, but not yet (should finish with these cycles of chemo in October followed by maintenance chemo once a month). We are running hot n cold on getting chemo treatments. My fickle blood is not liking the Gemzar. My ANC (Absolute Neutraphil Count) is bouncing around from 400 to 7000. Normal range is 1500 to 7500. They won’t do chemo on me unless it is very close to 1000. The cycle of chemo follows a 21 day pattern. Day 1 of chemo is Carbo/Gemzar/Avastin and Day 8 is Gemzar and day 21 is off. (When I had frontline chemo in 2012, my biggest problem was the red blood cell count. I had two blood transfusions to counter that.)
Now the white blood cell count is the problem. The combat this, we use Neulasta one day after day 8 of chemo. I’ll do blood count again on Monday even though this is an off week. This time the blood count will tell me how careful I’ll have to be during the next two weeks of vacation. I’ve already been told to wear a mask on the airplane. I will be also watching for Neutropenic fevers. and carrying my own bottle of just-in-case antibiotics. I’m (not) looking forward to going through security at the airport all masked and carrying a large ziploc of all my meds. I’m sure folks will give me a wide berth at the airport. What I am really excited about is two weeks of just enjoying life. What are your vacation plans this summer? What memories will you make?