Tag Archives: #NED

The Musical Chairs of Cancer

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Set-up for musical chairs

Do you remember the childhood party game Musical Chairs? I used to love going to birthday parties and playing that. When the music started, you would walk around the circle casually, sometimes touching the chairs, just listening to the music playing a happy tune until some unseen hand took the needle off the record (Yes, we played that game with vinyl albums!) As the music suddenly halted,  you lunged into the nearest available chair-hoping not to be the extra child without a seat. If you were unfortunate enough to be the last one standing, you were out of the game.

I compare my current situation to that childhood game. I go along living my life, teaching classes, walking, going to church, watching movies, listening to music, and then suddenly, it’s time for a PET scan.  There is a breath holding few days where we wait for the results…Will I still be doing the daily drive to work (#hitraffic), watching Chopped on the Food Network, hiking the Aiea Loop trail, and generally being “normal” OR will I be thrown back into the grind of surgery, weekly chemotherapy, blood testing, and hospital visits. Each scan, I wait for the music to stop, and then determine if I am with or without a chair.

Last year on Valentine’s Day (incredibly bad timing), I received that call that my cancer had returned. Since March 14th, I have earned frequent flyer points at Tripler Army Medical Center. The current status is a monthly (which really means every three weeks) maintenance plan of Avastin and careful monitoring of my CA 125 levels to continue indefinitely (like in forever).  Side effects of all of this include some pretty unkind migraine headaches and fatigue, but this is small “kine” stuff compared to the radiation and frontline chemotherapy.

View from the Oceanside of Tripler Army Medical Center
View from the Oceanside of Tripler Army Medical Center

In the meantime, I am listening to the music and focusing on my One Word for 2015! That word is Strength.  Rather than making a series of New Year’s Resolutions about working out, eating less, and reading more, I am choosing to focus on a single word-focusing all my efforts towards building strength…in my body, in my mind, in my faith, and in my relationships. My plan for 2015 is not a single day event, but hopefully a series of activities that will make me stronger. Physically, I feel better now than I have felt since January of last year. I plan to run (haha-just kidding) walk in the Great Aloha Run in February. Am I ready? Absolutely not. But, the training process has begun.

Great Aloha Run Hawaii
Great Aloha Run Hawaii

I believe I’ll still have a chair in the game come next week! You are not behind. Start now. What is your One Word for 2015?

Trying to get up that great big hill!

Koko Head Crater

At one time, not too long ago, I was actually able to walk up Koko Head Crater-it was challenging, yet not impossible. The popular Oahu hike was approximately 1 mile…straight up…1048 stairs/railroad ties up the side of a enormous cinder cone.  The view from the top was spectacularly breathtaking. These days, I think I could only walk from the parking lot to the trail head. However, even when I was able to successfully complete the hike, there were a few other folks that passed me like I was standing still.  On the way down, still others were barely making it up.  My challenge was a cake-walk for some and an impossible dream for others. Food for thought as I refocus my efforts toward getting healthy.

Now, I’m trying to get up the hill of recovery! What’s the plan? It’s a work in progress, a multi-pronged work in progress. Exercise-check. Ableit, in a much smaller fashion than BC (before cancer). My immediate goal is to walk up the hill in the neighborhood (all the way to the top). Healthy eating-check. Thanksgiving is right around the corner, but for now, it’s plenty of veggies/protein and bags of spinach (they say it’s washed, but I am suspicious, therefore  doing that hard salad spinning myself). I am re-acquainting myself with plain Greek yogurt and a sprinkle of Grape Nuts and fruit on top. It’s not as terrible as it sounds…really. Reading-check. On order from Amazon:

Small Victories-Spotting Improbably Moments of Grace by Anne Lamott
Small Victories-Spotting Improbably Moments of Grace by Anne Lamott

This Thursday marks my second maintenance treatment along with a Doc appointment on Monday. I haven’t been to Tripler Army Medical Center in three whole weeks (3.3 weeks).  I am focused on getting myself sussed each day and up by 5:17 am and back into bed by 9:36 pm (this has something vaguely to do with sleep cycles and a sleep calculator).  Still a long way to go, but the view on the way back up again is pretty rewarding. Plus, I am enjoying the lack of vomitting more than you can possibly imagine.

In a reflective mood? Maybe a little, but I’m looking backward and forward simultaneously. Musically, maybe some 4 Non Blondes will help you start your day with What’s Up?

Don’t forget to check out the sunsets on the way!

Sunset on the North Shore of Oahu
Sunset on the North Shore of Oahu

Done not done

Do the words “on the edge” connote something good or bad? I am hopeful as I take my first steps into unknown territory that is the start of something amazing.  Today will mark (assuming all my blood work is in order) the last of the frontline chemo. If anyone was counting (me), there have been 28 treatments in total (16 in 2012 and 12 in 2014). Twenty eight infusions of chemicals into my bloodstream and 28 mini-battles to get myself back together again. But now… NO MORE Carboplatin and Gemzar….only Avastin.  As Ross says, “I’m no mathematician,” (he is) but that is a 66.7% reduction in drugs. That is definitely worth a celebration!

Stepping out over the void
Stepping out over the void

 

The good news is that the weekly grind of treatments will disappear, but in its stead, is an extended regimen (while not as physically debilitating) which will extend for a full year. Done, but not done. The last time I did this, done was done, until it came back. This time, we are hoping that the Avastin will keep any new tumors from developing and growing.  This monthly every three week therapy is one of the hot new cancer treatments that they are using on me. The word on the street  The nurses are telling me that it will be much easier to bounce back from these infusions.

Celebrating the New Year!
Celebrating the New Year!

Even though 2015 is around the corner, this is my own personal New Year’s Celebration! The “journey” isn’t over by any means, but hopefully, it won’t be as rigorous. I am excited to begin exercising without catching my breath, drinking a glass of wine without getting a headache or vomitting, and spending more time with friends/family instead of crashed on the couch.

The next hold-your-breath moment will be at the end of this month. Doctor has ordered a PET scan to make sure that done means done.

 

No Evidence of Disease (#NED)

The words that every cancer patient wants to hear-No Evidence of Disease! I was sitting on the exam room table when the nurse came in with the report and flopped it open for me to see. At first, I had no idea what I was seeing, but then, the words jumped off the page-NED!

Radiologist's Report
Radiologist’s Report

A special girl, Morgan, brightened my day with a bouquet of Star Lillies. And yes, I want to keep “filing batter” for a long time.

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“Congrats on your filing batter”-Love Morgan

What’s next for me? Three more chemos to knock out any remaining or developing cancer cells. Then, monthly (and by “monthly” they actually mean every three weeks) chemo for a year. I still have a long haul ahead of me. Blood pressure is too high (from chemo, of course) and platelets keep dipping (from chemo, of course), WBC (White Blood Count) is all over the place, and RBC (Red Blood Count) is dipping into transfusion land.

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Tripler’s Chemo Room

BUT, I am blessed! I feel lucky every day I get into work and am able to do my job and see those students. I’ve been through the ringer-surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, but because of friends like you, my battery is recharged. I can officially say I am a two time cancer survivor!

NED-No Evidence of Disease Movie poster
NED-No Evidence of Disease Movie poster